“Twenty years or seventy, and yet, hitherto hath the Lord helped us! Through poverty, through wealth, through sickness, through health, at home, abroad, on the land, on the sea, in honor, in dishonor, in perplexity, in joy, in trial, in triumph, in prayer, in temptation, hitherto hath the Lord helped us! We delight to look down a long avenue of trees. It is delightful to gaze from end to end of the long vista, a sort of verdant temple, with its branching pillars and its arches of leaves; even so look down the long aisles of your years, at the green boughs of mercy overhead, and the strong pillars of lovingkindness and faithfulness which bear up your joys. Are there no birds in yonder branches singing? Surely there must be many, and they all sing of mercy received hitherto.”
Charles Spurgeon morning devotional December 29, 2020
It is not often that I am struck with more than one significant truth in a single day, but today I experienced two that touched my heart deeply. The first was from this morning’s devotional focus. Pete and I have been talking about how to help our children look at their lives from the standpoint of God’s faithfulness. There has never been a time, nor will there ever be when He will abandon His children. But they have barely a decade of knowing this experientially. Learning trust is something that builds over many years, not by moments. With each answered prayer and unanswered prayer, we place stones of remembrance upon an altar to Abba’s goodness. God’s response to one of my most earnest daily prayers may not even be something my 82 year old grandma needs to talk to the Lord about because she knows in her very bones that He has already made provision for any need she might have. She has walked with Him for many more years than I have. What must it be like to see life from that mature perspective? Often, His answers come in ways we don’t expect, or later than we would have desired. But His faithfulness is ALWAYS present.
In my life, I’m moving my heart to a habit of glancing back at those long rows of green trees before I face the trial or temptation right in front of me. Remember, He has helped me hitherto, and He will this time as well. Even if I do not receive the answer I want, the birds still sing in those trees, calling my heart to its place of trust and abiding.
I was confronted by the second truth while I was listening to one of the homeschool summit podcasts and cleaning out my fridge this afternoon (actually, it made a rather gross chore quite enjoyable!) Rick Boyer from Character Concepts was talking about how one of the blocks he had while raising his 14 children was a spiritual root of bitterness that he didn’t even discover he had until many years into his parenting journey. This bitterness had been with him from childhood when he’d experienced some painful things. It manifested itself primarily in keeping him from accepting his children completely, and he came to a place where he had to repent to his kids for not offering that unconditional love and telling them that they indeed WERE good enough. He set out not to make his kids feel the same way he had felt as a child, but ended up doing the very thing to them that he had so resented.
It is very easy to crush children with expectations. My journey in homeschooling has led me from expecting far too much in the very beginning, missing out on some of the precious moments with my kids to really keying in to delighting in them and allowing them to take ownership in the things we learn. But after listening to this podcast today, I realized that some of my anxiety over wanting everything to be “good enough” and continually reaching for a further and better goal is that I have not come to the place of accepting all of the experiences in my own life and how they have shaped me for God’s glory. Rick said it in a poignant way. “If you are not satisfied with how God has treated you, you will not be satisfied with anything.” Ouch! There are some things I would definitely change about some of my life experiences, but this new perspective is something I’m going to have to really think about in the days to come. What if actually visiting some of those painful experiences and allowing myself to thank God for the way He works all things for the good could actually cause me to have a deeper satisfaction with and acceptance of my kids just as they are? What if my perspective could be completely renewed and as a result my children settle into God’s acceptance of them? What better gift could I give them than a healed heart of my own?
As we close out this year and school term, it is my desire to present to the Lord a contented heart, a heart that is grateful for the wildernesses and valleys He’s brought me through, as well as the mountaintop vistas I’ve gotten to experience with Him. I am satisfied with His handiwork in me. I am satisfied that He is weaving a design in my life that expresses His creativity and purposes, and it will be made known to me in time.
As I look back at those verdant green trees, almost 40 years’ worth of them, I raise my voice with the birds and sing of His mercies toward me.
Hebron Heights Academy 